diumenge, 15 de novembre de 2015

"Mr. Brief," said the Idiot the other morning as the family of Mrs. Smithers-Pedagog gathered at the breakfast table, "don't you want to be let in on the ground floor of a sure thing?" "I do if there's no cellar under it to fall into when the bottom drops out," smiled Mr. Brief. "What's up? You going into partnership with Mr. Rockefeller?" "No," said the Idiot. "There isn't any money in that." "What?" cried the Bibliomaniac. "No money in a partnership with Rockefeller?" "Not a cent," said the Idiot. "After paying Mr. Rockefeller his dividend of 105 per cent. of the gross receipts and deducting expenses from what's left, you'd find you owed him money. My scheme is to start an entirely new business—one that's never been thought of before apparently—incorporate it at $100,000, of which I am to receive $51,000 in stock for the idea, $24,000 worth of shares to go to Mr. Brief for legal services and the balance to be put on the market at 45." "That sounds rich," said Mr. Brief. "I might devote an hour of my time to your scheme some rainy Sunday afternoon when there is nothing else to do, for that amount of stock, provided, of course, your scheme has no State's Prison string tied to it." "There isn't even a county jail at the end of it," observed the Idiot. "It's clean, clear and straight. It will fill a long felt want, and, as I see it, ought to pay fifty per[Pg 1728]cent dividends the first year. They say figures don't lie, and I am in possession of some that tell me I've got a bonanza in my University Intelligence Office Company." "The title sounds respectable," said Mr. Whitechoker. "What is it, Mr. Idiot—a sort of University Settlement Scheme?" "Well—yes," said the Idiot. "It is designed to get University graduates settled, if you can call that a University Settlement Scheme. To put it briefly, it's an Intelligence Office for College graduates where they may go for the purpose of getting a job, just as our cooks, and butlers and valets and the rest do. If there's money in securing a place at good wages for the ladies who burn our steaks and promote indigestion for us, and for the gentlemen who keep our trousers pressed and wear out our linen, I don't see why there wouldn't be money in an institution which did the same thing for the struggling young bachelor of arts who is thrown out of the arms of Alma Mater on to the hands of a cold and unappreciative world." "At last!" cried the Doctor. "At last I find sanity in one of your suggestions. That idea of yours, Mr. Idiot, is worthy of a genius. I have a nephew just out of college and what on earth to do with him nobody in the family can imagine. He doesn't seem to be good for anything except sitting around and letting his hair grow long." "That isn't much of a profession, is it," said the Idiot. "What does he want to do?" "That's the irritating part of it," observed the Doctor. "When I asked him the other night what he intended to do for a living he said he hadn't made up his mind yet between becoming a motor-man or the Editor of the South American Review. That's a satisfactory kind of an answer, eh? Especially when the family income is hardly big enough to keep the modern youth in neckties."

"I don't believe any Intelligence Office in creation could do anything for a man like that," sneered the Bibliomaniac. "What that young man needs is a good sound spanking, and I'd like to give it to him."
"All right," said the Doctor with a laugh. "I'll see that you have the chance. If you'll go out to my sister's with me some time next week I'll introduce you to Bill and you can begin."
"Why don't you do it yourself, Doctor?" asked the Idiot, noting the twinkle in the Doctor's eye.
"I'm too busy," laughed the Doctor. "Besides I only weigh one hundred and twenty pounds and Bill is six feet two inches high and weighs two hundred and ten pounds stripped. I think if I were armed with a telegraph pole and Bill with only a tooth-pick as a weapon of defense he could thrash me with ease. However, if Mr. Bib wants to try it—"
"Send Bill to us, Doctor," said the Idiot. "I sort of like Bill and I'll bet the University Intelligence Office will get him a job in forty-eight hours. A man who is willing to mote or Edit has an adaptability that ought to locate him permanently somewhere."
"I don't quite see," said Mr. Brief, "just how you are going to work your scheme, Mr. Idiot. I must confess I should regard Bill as a pretty tough proposition."
"Not at all," said the Idiot. "The only trouble with Bill is that he hasn't found himself yet. He's probably one of those easy-going, popular youngsters who've devoted their college days to growing. Just at present he's got more vitality than brains. I imagine from his answer to the Doctor that he is a good-natured hulks who could get anything he wanted in college except a scholarship. I haven't any doubt that he was beloved of all his classmates and was known to his fellows as Old Hoss, or[Pg 1730] Beefy Bill or Blue-eyed Billie and could play any game from Muggins to Pit like a hero of a Bret Harte romance."
"You've sized Bill up all right," said the Doctor. "He is just that, but he has brains. The only trouble is he's been saving them up for a rainy day and now when the showers are beginning he doesn't know how to use 'em. How would you go about getting him a job, Mr. Idiot?"
"Bill ought to go into the publishing business," said the Idiot. "He was cut out for a book-agent. He has a physique which, to begin with, would command respectful attention for anything he might have to say concerning the wares he had to sell. He seems to have, from your brief description of him, that suavity of manner which would surely secure his admittance into the houses of the elite, and his sense of humor I judge to be sufficiently highly developed to enable him to make a sale wherever he felt there was the remotest chance. Is he handsome?"
"I am told he looks like me," said the Doctor, pleasantly.
"Oh, well," rejoined the Idiot, "good looks aren't essential after all. It would be better though if he were a man of fine presence. If he's big and genial, as you suggest, he can carry off his deficiencies in personal pulchritude."
The Doctor flushed a trifle. "Oh, Bill isn't so plain," he observed airily. "There's none of your sissy beauty about Bill, I grant you, but—oh, well"—here the Doctor twirled his mustache complacently.
"I should think the place for Bill would be on the trolley," sneered the Bibliomaniac.
"No, sir," returned the Idiot. "Never. Geniality never goes on the trolley. In the first place it isn't appreciated by the Management and in the second place it is a dan[Pg 1731]gerous gift for a motor-man. I had a friend once—a college graduate of very much Bill's kind—who went on the trolley as a Conductor at seven dollars a week and, by Jingo, would you believe it, all his friends waited for his car and of course he never asked any of 'em for their fare. Gentlemen, he used to say, welcome to my car. This is on me."
"Swindled the Company by letting his friends ride free, eh?" said the Bibliomaniac.
"Never," said the Idiot. "Pete was honest and he rung 'em up same as anybody and of course had to settle with the Treasurer at the end of the trip. On his first month he was nine dollars out. Then he couldn't bring himself to ask a lady for money, and if a passenger looked like a sport Pete would offer to match him for his fare—double or quits. Consequence was he lost money steadily. All the hard luck people used to ride with him, too, and one night—it was a bitter night in December and everybody in the car was pretty near frozen—Pete stopped his car in front of the Fifth Avenue Hotel and invited everybody on board to come in and have a wee nippy. All except two old ladies and a Chinaman accepted and of course the reporters got hold of it, told the story in the papers and Pete was bounced. I don't think the average college graduate is quite suited by temperament for the trolley service."
"All of which is intensely interesting," observed the Bibliomaniac, "but I don't see how it helps to make your University Intelligence Office Company convincing."
"It helps in this way," explained the Idiot. "We shall have a Board of Inspectors made up of men with some knowledge of human nature who will put these thousands of young graduates through a cross-examination to find out just what they can do. Few of 'em have the slightest[Pg 1732] idea of that and they'll gladly pay for the assistance we propose to give them when they have discovered that they have taken the first real step toward securing a useful and profitable occupation. If a Valedictorian comes into the University Intelligence Office and applies for a job we'll put him through a third degree examination and if we discover in him those restful qualities which go to the making of a good plumber, we'll set about finding him a job in a plumbing establishment. If a Greek Salutatorian in search of a position has the sweep of arm and general uplift of manner that indicates a useful career as a window-washer, we will put him in communication with those who need just such a person."
"How about the coldly supercilious young man who knows it all and wishes to lead a life of elegant leisure, yet must have wages?" asked the Bibliomaniac. "Our Colleges are turning out many such."
"He's the easiest proposition in the bunch," replied the Idiot. "If they were all like that our fortunes would be established in a week."
"In what way?" persisted the Bibliomaniac.
"In two ways," replied the Idiot. "Such persons are constantly in demand as Janitors of cheap apartment houses which are going up with marvelous rapidity on all sides of us, and as Editors of ten-cent magazines, of which on the average there are, I believe, five new ones started every day of the year, including Saturdays, Sundays and legal holidays."
"I say, Mr. Idiot," said the Doctor later. "That was a bully idea of yours about the University Intelligence Office. It would be a lot of help to the thousands of youngsters who are graduated every year—but I don't think it's practicable just yet. What I wanted to ask you is if you could help me with Bill?"

Certainly I can," said the Idiot.
"Really?" cried the Doctor.
"Yes, indeed," said the Idiot. "I can help you a lot."
"How? What shall I do?" asked the Doctor.
"Take my advice," whispered the Idiot. "Let Bill alone. He'll find himself. You can tell that by his answer."
"Oh!" said the Doctor, lapsing into solemnity. "I thought you could give me a material suggestion as to what to do with the boy."
"Ah! You want something specific, eh?" said the Idiot.
"Yes," said the Doctor.
"Well—get him a job as a Campaign Speaker. This is a great year for the stump," said the Idiot.
"That isn't bad," said the Doctor. "Which side?"
"Either," said the Idiot. "Or both. Bill has adaptability and, between you and me, from what I hear on the street both sides are going to win this year. If they do, Bill's fortune is made."

1 comentari:

  1. Bab El-mandeb Acosta under there?Over there, over there, Send the word, send the word over there That the Yanks are coming, the Yanks are coming The drums rum-tumming everywhere. So prepare, say a prayer, Send the word, send the word to beware under there Johnny,[5] get your gun, get your gun, get your gun. Take it on the run, on the run, on the run. Hear them calling you and me, Every Son of Liberty. Hurry right away, no delay, go today. Make your Daddy glad to have had such a lad. Tell your sweetheart not to pine, To be proud her boy's in line. Johnny, get your gun, get your gun, get your gun. Johnny, show the "Hun"[6] you're a son-of-a-gun. Hoist the flag and let her fly Yankee Doodle[7] do or die. Pack your little kit, show your grit, do your bit. Yankee[8] to the ranks from the towns and the tanks.[9] Make your Mother proud of you And the old red-white-and-blue[ Over there, over there, Send the word, send the word over there That the Yanks are coming, the Yanks are coming The drums rum-tumming everywhere. So prepare, say a prayer, Send the word, send the word to beware - We'll be over, we're coming over, And we won't come back till it's over, over there. Gosto · Responder · 10 min Bab El-mandeb Acosta Escreve uma resposta... Bab El-mandeb Acosta Bab El-mandeb Acosta tinham mil pessoas lá dentro é mais fácil acertar em mil do que andar a caçar nas casas de banho públicas pra lhes cortar os tomates e comer com inhames como fazia o Idi Amin Gosto · Responder · 5 min Bab El-mandeb Acosta Bab El-mandeb Acosta daí que os americanos tenham estoirado com um abrigo cheio de crianças e mulheres em bagdad mulheres e filhas do regime se tivessem bombardeado só por cima nã tinham morto ninguém Gosto · Responder · 4 min Bab El-mandeb Acosta Bab El-mandeb Acosta Human Health Fact Sheet, August 2005 Natural Decay Series: Uranium, Radium, and Thorium Uranium, radium, and thorium occur in three natural decay series, headed by uranium-238, thorium-232, and uranium-235, respectively. In nature, the radionuclides in these three series are approximately in a state of secular equilibrium, in which the activities of all radionuclides within each series are nearly equal. Two conditions are necessary for secular equilibrium. First, the parent radionuclide must have a half-life much longer than that of any other radionuclide in the series. Second, a sufficiently long period of time must have elapsed, for example ten half-lives of the decay product having the longest half-life, to allow for ingrowth of the decay products (see the companion fact sheet on Ionizing Radiation). Under secular equilibrium, the activity of the parent radionuclide undergoes no appreciable changes during many halflives of its decay products. Gosto · Responder · Agora mesmo Bab El-mandeb Acosta Escreve uma resposta... Bab El-mandeb Acosta Bab El-mandeb Acosta é como os penetrators de urânio empobracido do sê isótopo físsil se é pra utilizá-los ao menos que seja longe de casa que aquela poeira de urânio inda vai causar cancros daqui a Uranium-235* Protactinium-231* Actinium-227 Thorium-231 700 million years 33,000 years 26 hours β Thorium-227* Radium-223* α 19 days 22 years (99%) β Lead-211* Bismuth-211* 36 minutes β Polonium-215 α 1.8 milliseconds NOTES: The symbols α and β indicate alpha and beta decay, and the times shown are half-lives. An asterisk indicates that the isotope is also a significant gamma emitter. Radon-219* α 4.0 seconds Francium-223* α 22 minutes β α 11 days16 de novembre de 2015 a les 15:26

    over there Bab El-mandeb Acosta under there?Over there, over there,
    Send the word, send the word over there
    That the Yanks are coming, the Yanks are coming
    The drums rum-tumming everywhere.
    So prepare, say a prayer,
    Send the word, send the word to beware under there Johnny,[5] get your gun, get your gun, get your gun.
    Take it on the run, on the run, on the run.
    Hear them calling you and me,
    Every Son of Liberty.
    Hurry right away, no delay, go today.
    Make your Daddy glad to have had such a lad.
    Tell your sweetheart not to pine,
    To be proud her boy's in line.

    Johnny, get your gun, get your gun, get your gun.
    Johnny, show the "Hun"[6] you're a son-of-a-gun.
    Hoist the flag and let her fly
    Yankee Doodle[7] do or die.
    Pack your little kit, show your grit, do your bit.
    Yankee[8] to the ranks from the towns and the tanks.[9]
    Make your Mother proud of you
    And the old red-white-and-blue[

    Over there, over there,
    Send the word, send the word over there
    That the Yanks are coming, the Yanks are coming
    The drums rum-tumming everywhere.
    So prepare, say a prayer,
    Send the word, send the word to beware -
    We'll be over, we're coming over,
    And we won't come back till it's over, over there.
    Gosto · Responder · 10 min
    Bab El-mandeb Acosta

    Escreve uma resposta...

    Bab El-mandeb Acosta
    Bab El-mandeb Acosta tinham mil pessoas lá dentro é mais fácil acertar em mil do que andar a caçar nas casas de banho públicas pra lhes cortar os tomates e comer com inhames como fazia o Idi Amin
    Gosto · Responder · 5 min
    Bab El-mandeb Acosta
    Bab El-mandeb Acosta daí que os americanos tenham estoirado com um abrigo cheio de crianças e mulheres em bagdad mulheres e filhas do regime se tivessem bombardeado só por cima nã tinham morto ninguém
    Gosto · Responder · 4 min
    Bab El-mandeb Acosta
    Bab El-mandeb Acosta Human Health Fact Sheet, August 2005
    Natural Decay Series:
    Uranium, Radium, and Thorium
    Uranium, radium, and thorium occur in three natural decay series, headed by uranium-238, thorium-232,
    and uranium-235, respectively. In nature, the radionuclides in these three series are approximately in a
    state of secular equilibrium, in which the activities of all radionuclides within each series are nearly equal.
    Two conditions are necessary for secular equilibrium. First, the parent radionuclide must have a half-life
    much longer than that of any other radionuclide in the series. Second, a sufficiently long period of time
    must have elapsed, for example ten half-lives of the decay product having the longest half-life, to allow
    for ingrowth of the decay products (see the companion fact sheet on Ionizing Radiation). Under secular
    equilibrium, the activity of the parent radionuclide undergoes no appreciable changes during many halflives
    of its decay products.
    Gosto · Responder · Agora mesmo
    Bab El-mandeb Acosta

    Escreve uma resposta...

    Bab El-mandeb Acosta
    Bab El-mandeb Acosta é como os penetrators de urânio empobracido do sê isótopo físsil se é pra utilizá-los ao menos que seja longe de casa que aquela poeira de urânio inda vai causar cancros daqui a Uranium-235*
    Protactinium-231*
    Actinium-227
    Thorium-231

    700 million years
    33,000 years
    26 hours
    β
    Thorium-227*
    Radium-223*
    α 19 days
    22 years
    (99%)
    β
    Lead-211*
    Bismuth-211*
    36 minutes
    β
    Polonium-215
    α 1.8 milliseconds
    NOTES:
    The symbols α and β indicate alpha and beta
    decay, and the times shown are half-lives.
    An asterisk indicates that the isotope is also
    a significant gamma emitter.
    Radon-219*
    α 4.0 seconds
    Francium-223*
    α
    22 minutes
    β α 11 days

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